Purpose (exerp) from my Book!

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My mom is a saint.  No clue how she has not one gray hair in her head.  Raising me must have caused ulcers, migraines, prayer vigils etc.,   By the time I was 5 years old I had already been ran over by a car, had massive surgery that left me in a cast for 12 months, and totaled a pick up truck with just me and my baby sister in it.  If I were her, I’d be wanting a trade in.  But she never did.  She always kept an even pace that was consistent and purposeful. 

           So you want to hear about the truck being totaled?  Of course you do.  Remember I told you my dad was an oil roughneck.  That meant he worked on oilrigs. (and still does at age 65)  Sometimes all night and all day.  We were living in Vernal, Utah at that time, when my dad had some time off.  Being the kind of man he was, time off meant “Let’s go get some work done”.  And that is what he did.  He, my mom, my baby sister (2 yrs.) and myself all went up into the mountains to do some firewood chopping.  I guess you can just go up in the woods, cut down trees, and go burn them.   

When the chainsaw started up, my wise mom put us in the cab of the pick-up all safe and sound.  Unbeknownst to her, I knocked the gear-shift into neutral. ("knocked being a key word- it may have been on purpose). She noticed the truck starting to roll.  Panicking, she grabbed the tailgate to stop us rolling.  Her heels dug into the ground and she immediately realized she was not going to stop the roll.  Can you imagine, knowing your babies are in a ‘run away” pick up truck and there is ABSOLUTELY nothing you can do about it.  She screamed at my dad and he jumped to the driver’s side door.  Of course it was locked. That’s what passionate little girls do when they are scared. ‘Heidi, open the door” he hollered as he was jogging along side the pick up as it gained speed going down this massive mountain.  “Surely it will hit a tree and stop” my mom was thinking, trying hard not to panic.  About the time I actually got the door unlocked and open, a massive tree got in the way and my dad had to slam the door shut and run around the tree.  At a full sprint now, he made one last leap and grabbed the door handle.  It slipped out of his hand and the truck ran him over.  As he finally gathered himself and looked up, the truck flew off a hundred foot mountain.

            As they both cried and ran to the side of the cliff, they saw the pick up smashed in two.  “It was like a match book folded in two” My mom described “every single window was shattered, and I knew you had been thrown from the cab.”  When my parents made it down the side of the mountain to the vehicle, they found my sister and I snuggled in the floorboard covered in broken glass, with not one scratch on our body........

You may not have a miraculous story like that to tell- but the fact that you are breathing means you are a miracle and you have a purpose.  To know more about that purpose get my book!  

waiting for instructions

We are studying the book of 1 Samuel at church and I love the drama!  Who needs netflix when you can actually read God's word and get murder, deception, lies all in ONE chapter!

Israel was not content (as usual) and asked God for a king. "We want to be like the other kingdoms, waaa waaa, everybody else has a king but us! Waa Waa We want a king."  So what does a loving Father do?  He brings them a king!

In Chapter 10 we get to meet new king of Israel.  Super smart Samuel gets to anoint this guy--Saul.  (Side note, the texts depicts Saul as a big tall, handsome goof who loses his donkeys- probably not my first choice of king)  Nonetheless, Saul is anointed king.  After Samuel anoints him, Saul receives complete step by step instructions on what to do!

V. 2-  you'll find two men, v. 3 go to the oak of Tabor and meet three men one carrying goats, one with bread one with wine;  v.4 they'll greet you and give you two loaves, and you'll take them.....and so on.  For several chapters Samuel tells Saul EXACTLY what to expect and what to do.

Dear Samuel, can I please get a word from you?

OMY word, wouldn't it be amazing if we could get step by step instructions in serving God!?  NOT FAIR!  AND then it says "the Spirit of God falls mightily on him."

So not only does he get step by step instructions, he gets a full-on-fall-on-your-knees hit by the Spirit of God.  In verse 11, "others were wondering what had happen to him!" So this was a serious change in Saul.  (Oh Lord change my heart so others can see!)

But here's the kicker.  After all the instructions Samuel gave him (that panned out exactly how he said)...then the Spirit coming on him and changing his heart;  Saul still acts like nothing's new!  His uncle asks him in verse 14-16  "Hey Saul, what's up?  Where have you been?"  Saul tells him he went to find the donkey and couldn't find them, so they ask Samuel.  Samuel told him the donkeys where fine!  HE NEVER TELLS HIS UNCLE THE COOL STUFF THAT HAPPEN!

"But he did not tell him about the matter of the kingdom which Samuel had mentioned."  1 Sam. 10: 16b

Dear Saul, get a clue! You are anointed by GOD ALMIGHTY, own it dude!

Yet he doesn't.  Finally he gets to be presented as KING of ISRAEL, and he is hiding in the luggage! (verse 22)

Sad but true- I totally identify with Saul, yet want to criticize him all the same.  Look at the opportunity you have!  Look what God is doing for you, AND with a very wise mentor to help you.  Saul- you have Samuel as a mentor, you have God falling mightily on you, you have a kingdom that is pretty new to this king stuff, so why are you scared?  What an honor!

God has given me instructions before; I have felt the Spirit nudge me-- yet I hide behind my baggage all the time.  Although I may not have a step by step instructions, I have loving friends, mentors, family members that speak truth into me on a daily basis.  I have the Holy Spirit guiding my steps!  And though I'm not 'leading a kingdom'- I have serving a Kingdom!  Help me get out from behind the baggage and STAND Tall!!!!

9 Year Old Evangelist

"Mommy, guess what?!  She wants to be a believer!"  Abby exclaims on the phone in her tiny-squeeky voice.  "What do you mean?" I probe.  "My best friend mommy!  I told her what John 3:16 means and how we are sinners and will go 'down there' if we don't believe in Jesus." 

That was the phone conversation we had last night after my 9-year old hung out at her friend's house.   She and Abby have been best friends since first grade and have gone through a lot together.  Her best friend lost her mom to cancer two years ago, being raised by a single dad and two teen brothers, she has clung to our family unit.  Now her dad's girlfriend is pregnant and she is feeling pushed out!

Abby has such a sensitive spirit and is very in tune to the needs of others.  She is super happy and very vocal.  She says what is on her heart and usually persists on the matter until you give in.  Salvation topic is no different.  Her best friend's family is from Belgium.  They speak dutch, do not believe in doctors and for the most part buck organized religion.  But the daughter that became my daughter's best friend is beautiful, fun-loving, and kind.  A perfect combination to share God's love. "I told her about being born-again mommy, and that we get to have a new life as a Christian life!"

The conversation started months earlier when they were talking about their "crushes".  Abby told her friends that her number one crush is JESUS.  When her friends questioned her, she told them she wants to love him the most.  Why are we not all super-crushin' on the man who died in our place?!

Abby wanted to give her one of our Bibles and a journal so she can start a quiet time.  I sent witdh her the "Jesus Storybook Bible"- our family favorite, to start  out.  She is planning on coming to our AWANA and wants to "pray more" she told Abby.  "Mommy, we can do our quiet time together, and tell others about Jesus!"

"Go and make disciples in all the nations, baptizing them in the name of Father, Son and Holy Spirit."  I truly believe Abby is setting the standard for us believers.  She didn't want her Best Friend to hurt anymore, or be separated from God. She truly wanted her to KNOW her Jesus. 

Way to go little Abby!  Way to build the Kingdom of God!

Who Parent's Who?

My son is taller than me.  What a weird feeling!  I changed his diaper, spanked his little bottom, and carried him around in my hip until I had shoulder issues.  Now he is taller than me!  This got me thinking...

When do the tables turn with your kids?  I mean, when do the parents start seeking advice from their children?  At what point is there a confidence check?  I 100% respect my parents and listen to their sound advice, but for most part, I seem to be leading the pack on decisions or ideals. Marty pays all the bills ad has power of attorney over his mom.  He makes most of the financial decisions in her life.  Years ago I could never ever imagine my kids making decisions for me. I never dreamed they would have enough wisdom  or knowledge to make an informed decision.  But now, my sensitive, sweet , taller-than-me boy is starting to convince me. 

He loves the Lord and wants to do right.  He loves his family.  He loves me.  He wants to be a husband and father one  day, and he actually told me one time, "mom, you won't always be no.1 in my life you know?"  (Ouch-insert knife deep into my heart).  Really why?  "Well, I'm going to be married one day and she has to be my no. 1.  Just like daddy loves you."

OMY word. 

The wisdom that poured out of that statement floored me.  I mean, I literally felt my heart in my throat.  (Yes that's a real feeling, when you have so much pride in you kid you can hardly swallow).   He continued, "well actually mom, you may be #2 or 3.  It depends how many daughters I have." 

My 13 year old son is planning on having a family, raising them and loving them as Christ loves the church.  What an amazing blessing.  Who ever gets this boy is going to be ONE LUCKY gal! AND yes, I'll be visiting a lot to get advice from him.

Thank you Dear Lord for Isaac.  The love a mother has for her son is indescribable.  AND the fact his name is Isaac makes it hard!  When Abraham was willing to sacrifice his Isaac for the Lord, puts that name at a whole new level!  Lord help me raise my man child to walk upright and humbly at the same time.  Help me not be annoyed by his tickling and  loving hugs and "wrestling" he always wants to do!  May the "#1 girl" in his life (future girl...I'm going to be as long as possible) even now be serving, loving and living for You!  Protect her, keep her pure.  Guard Isaac's heart and help him be a man of integrity.  Thank you that I get to borrow him for a short lifetime!

I still can't believe MY head now rests on his chest!

Broken Bone-

We just "happen" to be at my sister's house at dinner time. Since she prayed for hospitable heart, and lived abroad for 10 years, she can cook up a mean meal for any number of people that just "happen" to be by!  She had a pork shoulder roast in the crock pot and it smelled delicious.  Sure enough, we all ate and were satisfied.  My brother-in-law picked out of the giant roast, a 1/2 pound bone.  Perfect for an 80-lb dog to chew on. 

Well, I happen to have two.  Gracie is our 3 year old sleek, yellow lab.  She has been a delight to me and our family.  She is obedient, loving, and a little to herself.  I love giving her big juicy bones!  Shadow is our new boy.  A rare silver lab, he was born just 4 short months ago.  HE IS HUGE!  He is funny, he is NOT TRAINED.  But I love him the same, and thinks he deserves a bone too.  One big-delicious-juicy pork bone, and TWO deserving sweet dogs.  That was my dilemma!

Being an equal-opportunity-dog-momma I decided to make it equal for both and took the bone, a file, a hammer and a saw to the garage.  At first I tried to  file it in half...nope-  Then I tried to saw it, a little headway but was taking way too long.  OH FORGET IT-  Grabbed the giant hammer and started swinging.  It was not secure as the hammer struck the bone, it slipped and bounced off the garage floor and hit my ankle at 80 mph. Omy-goodness....I saw stars!  And may have said a few unworthy words.  (I must really love my dogs...it's 110 degrees in the garage and now I have a huge contusion on MY big ankle bone!)

 VICTORY--It worked!  Two pieces (although not equal-ugh)- But two pieces nonetheless!  I gave them to my puppies! 

THEY WERE IN HEAVEN!~~~ And I'm sure they praised my name every lick and bite along the way.  I'm sure I earned so much respect in their eyes.

In less than 15 minutes, those dogs were able to chew up and SWALLOW that bone!

REALLY?!!!!

The bone that caused major bruising, sweat and turmoil to divide!?  They ATE IT!-In 15 minutes!

They ate it and loved it...  but their internal bowels did not. 

Yep, Shadow did not make it to the grass....not even to the door  (gross)
Four towels later, bruised ankle, and a late night I realized.......  I will never just barge into my sister's house at dinner time again!   Well at least without an invitation and a contribution.

Christianese

I sat by a woman on a plane one time that was obviously very successful.  She shared all about the homes (yes plural) she is re-doing.  In fact, she was flying to her Florida home to pick out paint color and floor decor.  She worked for Starbucks and was a very confident sales executive.  Being the curious type, I stepped further and asked about her family.  This part was a little less rehearsed and I could tell she was struggling with giving me emotional details.  To my delight, she finally shared with me that she was a grandma who adores her grandchildren.  She also confessed that she didn't spend much time with them and preferred working than being around her family.  After an hour or so of conversing like this, I asked her why it was hard for her to tell me about her family.  She looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Because you're one of those and I didn't want to hear how God loves me and crap".  I may have made a thump as my jaw hit the floor.  This lady was definitely a hard business woman who tells it like it is, but she was missing the southern charm I'm used to.  I admit, it hurt!  But I had to press on.  "Ma'am, what do you mean 'one of those'"?  She went on to tell me the reason she doesn't stay in one place too long is because she hated the Bible belt where people invited you to church, she hated going down south because everyone is fake, and where her children live, is chaos.  She loathes the terms "God bless you" and "Thank God".  She even confessed she was worried to sit next to me because of my 'christian terms'.  It was the most enlightening conversations I had ever had.  My goal was not to convert her, or even "witness" to her. I honestly wanted to have a nice conversation, and maybe learn something from her.

Did I ever! 

Scripture says, they will know us by our love.  It says NOTHING about how many Bible verses you can quote, or hymns you can recite.  It is by simply LOVING.  (please do not get me wrong, scripture memorization is awesome and so are hymns )...  Why have Christ-followers- disciples- gotten so far from that?!  Why do we have to have memberships, and votes, and quotas?  Where is the bare-bones love that Jesus showed? 

Quite honestly, if I wasn't raised in the belt-buckle of the Bible belt or lived in the Christian bubble my entire life, I would feel the same way as my seat partner.  I would RUN the other direction of those that always say the right things, do the right things and seem to know all the right things to do.  IT would be an automatic turn off. 

My new friend and I swapped business cards.  We have actually had a couple of phone conversations regarding business a couple of times.  I truly respect her.  I sorta envy her.  But I do pray for her!  but most of all I am going to just LOVE her.

Fresh Cut Grass

I realized today why men like to "mow the yard"  In between massive spring storms, the ground was just dry enough to cut grass, and the window of opportunity presented itself.  Marty being at work, I decided to get the task done.  I've always liked to mow. My daddy taught me on a John Deer when I could barely reach the pedals.  He told me to "keep the tire" on the inside of the line and "keep straight"

Well we don't have an old John Deer.  We have this fancy, zero-turn, space-ship type thing that doesn't have pedals or a steering wheel.

It took me about 25 minutes to start things (already over my time-budget).  (I didn't realize you have to have the break up, arms engaged, blade up, choke on medium and hold your mouth just right- before the engine would actually turn over) Finally, I was in the hot sun, whirling around the yard.

We live on 5 acres with two beautiful ponds.  A small portion of that land around our home is outlined with a small wooden picket fence.  The fence is merely for character and will not keep wild animals out.  I decided, for sake of time, I would focus on the INSIDE of the fence.

We have three kids, 2 dogs, a pool and various debris lying around the yard- you know a water bottle, soccer ball, pool floaties, things one should not drive over in a mower.  But once I sat my tail end on that mower and put it motion, I DID NOT WANT to get off.  So carefully weaving through and pushing aroun the debris I vowed to "get it done" without getting off. 

On one particular obstacle I leaned forward to pick up the debris and leaned on the bar that pushes the machine forward.  Whew that was close. I tried it again, managed to pick it up, but once again lurched forward and ran into the wooden fence with a bang. Boom- yep whip lash.  Hmm, wonder if Marty will notice that 2 inch deep laceration in the wooden post.  I continue on.

As I spin, whirl, and accomplish this task, I have a sense of pride.  I am actually going to start, and FINISH a project in short amount of time.  So many days, I start a project and get distracted, derailed, or simply bored, and therefore never finish. So actually STARTING, and FINISHING in the same day is victory in itself!

Grass droppings all stuck to my legs, sweat pooled up in my crotch (making it look like I wet myself), and a sense of accomplishment, I pulled the machine back into the garage (An entire different story backing that thing up)---by the way, you know a MAN designed that.  You have to have TWO hands on the bars at all time.  What if you wanted to drink? Or change the song on your itunes?--

SO I finished.  (Don't look at the cement block I rearranged, the big holes I dug in the mud, the patches I didn't really cut, or the high parts I scalped)  It was finished.  It's pretty, and green, and smells really good.

I wonder if God sees us sometime like fresh cut grass.  Phil. 1:6 says "And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns."

Sometimes there is debris that gets in the way, and sometimes we have accidents along the way.  But when the work is done, we are complete! ONLY in Him.  Thank you Lord for beginning the work, and completing when Jesus Comes.  Mowing grass isn't really that hard (especially with modern technology and zero turn machines). BUT it's a good reminder that our life may be over grown with weeds, debris and obstacles.  But the Master Gardner is mowing, pruning and making US look beautiful. He will finish us one day when we get to be with Him, and what a glorious day of rejoicing that will be.

Now off to weed-eating.......

Matthew 6:33
"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."

I've always liked this verse because of the last part: "all these things will be added to you"  My mind went crazy on what great things will be added to my life.  Today, this verse is something different to me.  So when I read it, I had to ask Jesus a few questions!

1) What the heck is "His Kingdom"?

2)  What does "His Righteousness" mean (sounds unattainable)?

3)  What are "these things" that will be added to me?

4)  And really what does "seek" mean?

Jesus was preaching about worry!  The thing that erodes away our peace and happiness.  The verb that tends to rule a momma's heart- 24/7!  Jesus wanted to make sure His audience knew we did NOT have to dwell in that anxious, unsettled world we tend to stay!

HIS KINGDOM-  At first glance, I tend to think of Heaven. Pearly gate; streets of gold; little cherubs singing on the corner.  But, I believe, the word KINGdom is really indicative of WHO rules.  A kingdom usually has a KING- a monarchy and a place ruled by ONE.  In this sense, Jesus is reminding us we have a KING that is in charge!  Put HIM as your goal-  Go after that understanding HE is in charge!  He is the King and we are the princess....no need to worry! Our Kingdom is secure!

HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS-  Finding HIS righteousness is almost opposite of seeking His Kingdom.  In my mind, a King sits on His throne and barks orders all day.  Jesus wants us to learn and understand GOD's character.  Yes, He is monarchy King, but He is good, pure, righteous and all together lovely.  Seeking and learning WHO HE IS will prove to us He has our best interest at heart.  Righteousness IS His character- His personality.  Jesus wants us to know that! and KNOW HIM!

THESE THINGS- (ok this is good)  In the previous verses Jesus is literally referring to eat, drink, and what to wear.  You may take it literally.  Jesus wants to remind us, that EVEN the little day to day details are taken care of by the almighty King, who has a righteous heart.  He will provide our basic needs.  He does for the grass, for the birds, for kings.  "You of Little Faith!" Jesus exclaims in vs.30.  "Will He not much more clothe you?"  Why worry about it?  He's got it all taken care of! ALL of these things!

SEEK-  Although I do not do it often, my kids LOVE to play hide and seek with me.  I remember early on, when I would be the 'hider' and they the 'seeker', my kids would go around the house calling my name.  "mommy, where are you?" they'd exclaim, almost too scared to look under the covers, or behind the shower curtain.  Eventually I'd make a sound so they would be able to find me.  I believe Jesus is asking us to SEEK like an adult would seek.  Not merely calling out His name, but TURNING rocks over, opening doors, pulling back the curtain.  He wants us actively and engaged in a full SEARCH for HIM!  In every faucet of our lives, where is HE?  Not that He is hiding from us, but in our busy-worried-filled life, we will MISS Him.

How many times have you gone through your glory-filled day, filling cups, dotting i's and crossing t's, and NEVER see Him?  It's a definite intentional verb.  SEEK Him.  KNOW Who He is.  BELIEVE what He will do.  AND guess what?!  Dinner is ON HIM :)

So you want to write?

Yep, that was the title of a blog I found when I was trying to find the email of some of my favorite authors.  You see, writing a book as been on my bucket list for a long while now.  15 years ago I actually started one. (it's a fictional love story based on true events- I actually have the first couple of chapters)      I do not know how it has been resurrected, but it is strong, and I just can't fight it!  So, like any other profession that I have no idea on, I go to the experts.  An editor friend of mine sent me a lot of "articles" and "lectures" to read.  My sister said it was awesome, and when I'm done, she'll buy my first copy. (she has to say that). Then I went looking for some of my favorite authors to get their advice.  Bob Goff still hasn't returned my email, but I am not giving up.  Oswald Chambers is out of reach,  Ann Voskamp is kinda out of my league and so that left Jen Hatmaker.  A fellow Texan, whom I feel I know intimately (If you have ever read any of her posts, blogs, books, you'll know what I'm talking about); I figured she'd have plenty of time to read my first chapter.

Well, I couldn't find her personal contact information, (I know right?! Really...I must've deleted her contact information by mistake)  but I did come across a recent blog of hers: Becoming a Writer.  (How cool that her website is just Jenhatmaker.com. Maybe I should go secure Heidimckee.com right now....well, dang- it's $3000! Really?!)

Omigosh this is getting really long for my short point.(see I have a long way to go)  Basically- Her blog about becoming a writer was inspiring but scary.  She said it's hard.  She said you may have to stay up at night.  She said you may neglect your family at times (check). Be she also said GO FOR IT! 

#jenhatmaker (not sure if that works on blogs, but maybe if she sees I'm hashtagging her she'll become a mentor or something)

I'm taking her advice at heart and starting my blog up again. Can you believe it- 5 1/2  years ago was my last post! We could've had a zombi-apocolypse and never knew!

I'm not sure who, if any will follow me, but I'm here to practice. I'm here to inspire.  I'm here to pour onto paper what is bubbling in my heart!  I want to MOVE people with words! I want to SHOW people what God has done for me!  I want to become a writer--even if it is just my story that will bless the legacy of children!

So thanks Jen for coffee the other day (yes, I read her blog over coffee)  Thanks people in my life that have actually produced some really great material I can actually write down!  And thanks honey for not laughing at me!  (Wow, I already have my dedication down!)

THE END

Note from the author (totally practicing here)

What is something burning in your heart that you've been wanting to do?  Why haven't you started it, done it, asked for it, became it?  What is holding you back?  Maybe you want to invest in something big? Maybe you want to sell everything and be a full time missionary.  Maybe you want to go back to school.  GO ahead!  I'll support you!  We can do this crazy endeavor thing together!  And you might find lots of good information on the internet......  Good luck! Work Hard- and GO FOR IT!  I am :)