Broken- but functioning...

Crazy days- no time to blog... here's a few reasons why:

Our ford minivan had a terminal disorder. Something about the coolant was getting oil in it or something like...so, without changing the anti-freeze every time we traveled, it could mean major stalling and with three kids that just isn't an option. Plus, the heater doesn't work either. Okay for summer time- not so much in the cool mornings of November...

It has rained more this fall than one can imagine. Our yard is like a swamp, completely saturated. Not so good when you have an old septic system that gets backed up when the ground is wet. During these times, I cannot wash, run the dishwasher or take long showers or we have a lovely smell of ethane gas, and possible a back up.

My life-line (iPhone) was dropped and shattered. It is still functioning but I cannot see a flippin' thing most of the time.

My toaster only toasts one side of the bread.

I dropped a spaghetti squash onto my glass top stove and it shattered. It split in all directions. The burners still work, but the entire stove top gets super hot when one burner is on.

Have you noticed a theme? I'm not writing to receive pity or sympathy. It is not my intention to have people say "oh, so sorry Heidi". I'm simply writing a wonderful word picture the Lord has given me.

The theme? These items in our home-- are broken. In some way or fashion, they are not producing 100% the job they were designed to do. HOWEVER, they are still functioning. They are still getting the job done. For all practical purposes I can drive the van around (side note..I did get a new one :).... I still cook daily on my stove top. It will eventually dry up so I can flush my toilets again, and who needs both sides of the bread toasted anyway?.... They are still getting the job done. Yes, not effeciently, effectively, or perfectly but nevertheless, the job is getting done.

So you ask, how is this a 'word picture' or 'illustration'?

It is a perfect illustration because that is exactly how I feel. I am functioning. I have gotten the job done. I do what I'm called to do. The truth is however, is that I'm broken. I'm struggling on a daily basis to just make it through the day. Like my toaster was designed to toast that bread to the level programmed...I am to fulfill my job as a Mom, wife, teacher, cook, homemaker, church member, children's church leader, business owner, friend, and Christian.... but I'm doing a half-a!@# job. Yes, things get done, but in a brutal, ugly and painful way.

What is it that is broken? I'm not sure? My spirit? My physical being? My psychy? I don't know. All I do know is that I'm broken. What I do know however is that I have a Savior that is a healer to the broken, and friend to the lowly. I rest in the knowledge of His undeserved grace and mercy. I can now identify with moms everywhere who feel like they have to have it all together...WE DON'T! I now can reach out to hurting women who struggle with depression. I now understand why....

That's the season I'm going through right now. this too shall pass..... Thanks for listening! And I covet your prayers... I am sure an ugly person and really don't like what I am. I prefer to work properly or receive my money back!

I want to move to Mars!

On our trip to the Johnson Space Center Houston I learned SO much! #1)I learned that if moved to Mars I'd only weigh 117 lbs! #2) I learned that our God is an amazing Creator and I learned that there are some incredibly smart people that don't get that! The wonders of the universe declares His majesty over and over and yet these educated, intelligent people still claim that the stars, planets, moons and everything in the Heavens just "BANGED" there! #3) I also learned that my kids are sponges!

Another interesting fact #4) I learned is that there has been an American Astronaut in space since the year 2000. They are living in the space station and rotate every 4-8 months. The International Space Center is 87% complete. While living there they have to tie themselves down to sleep, vacuum their urine (I know gross) and never get a cold drink (no room for a fridge) They have to take sponge baths because the water just stays in a ball and will stick to them. A towel wouldn't absorb the water so they'd have to vacuum the water off of them.

Right now there are six astronauts vacuuming themselves in space. 2 Americans 2 Russians, 1 Canadian, 1 Swiss. NASA is working with 17 different countries to complete this Space Station. When it is complete the next mission is the MOON. They will be sending another man to the moon by the year 2020.
#7) Even if it is way cool in Dallas- it is still STEAMY hot in Houston! This was 8:30 in the morning and our glasses, camera, and windows all fogged up because of the humidity. We were ready to get in the AC!
The last time I was at Galveston beach was when I was in High School. I remembered it being dirty and stinky and not so much fun. That was NOT my impression this trip. A little smelly (fishy) but the sand was great, trash minimum, and waves huge! We found a dead jellyfish (And since my kids love SpongeBob, they knew all about the jelly fish), hunted for seashells and rode the waves...literally. I bought them all boogie boards.
Lastly, I think Jan (my friend who came with me) would appreciate this. The main thing I learned about this trip is that it's ok to OVER PACK! Because it was so chilly I really didn't think we would swim, so I didn't pack sufficient swimming gear and neither did Jan. To spare the details--- Just imagine how much sand can get in your underclothes when you are being pounded by waves for 3 hours....and imagine how they feel when you have to wear them the next day :) "nuff said"
Homeschooling is awesome! I praise God we get to take field trips like this that bond us as a family and grow us as students! I hope they remember these things for the rest of their lives!

Rhea Sunshine-

My sweet middle child turns 6 today. As tears fill my eyes, I simply cannot imagine where the time went. Although she has always been a little "big for her britches" it was just yesterday she was taking her first step. In her short 6 years, she has aged so well. Talking before her big brother, potty training herself-before I even thought about it, learning to read on her own...she's always been "older than what she is. A couple of years ago, she asked me "Mom, when am I going to be a teenager?!" She wants be big in every way. She's also always been a spiritual little giant. If you mentioned you needed prayer around her, she would pray every night for that issue.
She always been my deep thinker. "Mom, how come God made girls and boys"....Mom, why can't we just be born in Heaven where everything is fun?" "Mom, why did God make darkness, didn't he know it makes little kids scared?"




I know that I'm a bit biased, but she is a beautiful person. I praise God that she got her sensitivity from my sister, her quiet integrity from her Daddy, and her love of people from me. My prayer for her, since she was very small, that God would use this quiet spirit as a servant in His Kingdom. That she would delight in helping others. It is sorta working. If Abby, her little sister, wasn't so independant, Rhea would be her little mommy. She is constantly trying to talk sweetly to her and help her in situations. She does the same with me. She'll rub my head and tell me she loves me, she tries to make me laugh when I'm upset, and she loves to embellish on stories. OH what an imagination.

Yes, my little Rhea Sunshine is growing right before my eyes. I simply do not want to wake up tomorrow and take her to get her diver's license, but that is how it seems it will be. I was a 8th grade volleyball game of a friend of mine, who yesterday was toddlering around and still in diapers. I didn't realize that parents are the ones that get the growing pains! Oh Lord, may I raise a God-loving and God-fearing little lady that strives to please you in all she does. Thank you for blessing my life with her as you loan me to her for a short lifetime. May she call you her Savior so that she can live for eternity in your love and grace.....Thank you Lord for my Sunshine!
Love you little Rhea!

First Week Of Homeschool!

Our very first day of homeshool

I am sooooo blessed to be able to homeschool my sweet babies. I've heard all kinds of comments "WHY would you do that?" "Are you crazy?" "What pocessed you?" "Of course you are..." and things like "you are going to be awesome" "I wish I could do that" and many many more encouraging phrases from friends and family. But I would like to answer the question WHY?!

God has given each of us different gifts and talents we are to use for His glory. Although I tried and tried to deny it, my God-given gift is teaching (all ages and all things) As far back as I can remember I wanted to coach and teach. I thought I would ALWAYS be coaching. What I didn't realize is that coaching is just teaching with enthusiam and passion. Ever since Isaac was in my womb I wanted to teach him. I saw him in every 7th grade Texas History student I had, every little 8th grade volleyball player...I just new I wanted to be the encourager, passionate teacher in his life. I didn't necessarily want to homeschool...I just wanted to be his teacher. So God has given me 13 years of experience of teaching and coaching...it ONLY makes sense :)

kids at the Science and History Museum

When I sent Isaac off to kindergarten I cried like a baby for the first 2 weeks. And off and on through out that entire year. It was hard to be with him all day-- everyday to all of a sudden gone 7.5 hours away from me and in who knows what kind of influences. But I trudged on. Then First grade came. He had a great year and he LOVED school...but I missed him! We were yelling to beat the clock from sun up and racing to get some kind of "family" time in at sun down. Our lives were so crazy I hated it. I wanted to pull him out half way so I could just simply be with him. I couldn't bear going thru that with my Rhea and eventually Abby! I wanted to put the time and energy I was putting in other students into MY VERY OWN children!

we made astronomy notebooks for all the cool things they will do this year

It's only been a week--but as I told a friend today, if this is any indication of how this year is going to be then I can't wait! I LOVE knowing EVERYTHING they are learning (how many times have you asked you son/daughter what they learned...and all you get is 'i dunno'). Now we can expand, discuss and grow as a family! I love the fact that they will learn reading, writing, history, science and everything using God's word. For example, for Rhea's writing assignment she was to dictate a verse. She's learning penmanship and scripture at the same time! Above is our first Science project. We are studying Astronomy...from the perspective of Genesis 1:14-19. We get to praise God on a daily basis for His creation! Abby is even learning what the planets are named. Her favorite Venus because we chose a pink balloon to represent it!

I am not naive to think that every week is going to be so exciting. I am worried that I want to cram in EVERYTHING and do EVERYTHING so fast. I am leary of fatigue, bickering (which has occured a lot), and frustration. I have experienced many 'I don't want-to's' and "this is borings" and have seen behavior that would NEVER be tolerated in a public school. I know the enemy HATES the fact I am spending loving, quality time with my kids and raising them to fear an Awesome God. I'm prepared for attacks....

I am also expecting blessings, tender moments, and a chance to know my kids better than ever before. Why am I homeschooling? Because I am suppose to....not because the public school stinks (it really doesn't at all!) not because I'm anti-social or think my kids will be influenced badly, not because everyone else is doing it....I am homeschooling because God made me a teacher and I have a house full of students that will get me 24 hrs a day! I am blessed :)

Yes there are nine(eight if you don't count pluto) planets and a sun. They are poportionate in size according to their actual size. and the orange wierd one is Saturn with it's rings :)

When Asked...

When asked, "What is it about Heidi that makes her beautiful to you?" Marty answered:

"I could talk all day about how utterly gorgeous, beautiful and sexy my sweetheart is on the outside. One of the things that makes her so beautiful to me is she works hard at and wants to take good care of herself physically. It not only motivates me but I personally think it shows how gorgeous she looks on the outside. But my sweetheart's outer beauty is only a small part of her whole beauty package. You should see how God has put her heart together. She is a passionate woman. This is evident to anyone that knows her. About what you might say? EVERYTHING! She is the absolute funnest person I have ever known. I haven't appreciated that attribute enough but it is definitely a part of what makes her so beautiful to me. But without a doubt her most beautiful quality to me is she is the most incredible "lover" a man could ever want. By that I mean her passion and how she loves others, including me!! That has and always will be one of the most attractive features about her. She doesn't just love you but she loves you passionately and with all her heart. What more could a man or friend ever want or desire in life from another."

Roller Coaster Life

Yesterday we went to Six Flags. We bought season passes this year and has already proven to be a great investment. We took a couple of friends. Isaac brought his best bud who happens to be just 2 inches taller which puts him in another "ride bracket" His buddy can ride the 52" rides but Isaac can only ride the 48" ones. However, the TITAN at Six Flags requires you to be only 48" to ride. His buddy is definitely the "thrill seeker" and couldn't wait to ride the BIG one. Isaac was all talk :) So we took the long walk to the Titan. Left the other yellow belly folk behind.... Isaac was very apprehensive but kept walking with us. Side bar: I AM a thrill seeker, however the older I've gotten the worst my fear of heights have gotten. i am learning it's not even worth the muscle tension for the 'thrill'. So the Titan is a big height's ride.....Isaac held my hand all the way up the walk. Keeping one eye on the coaster and one eye on the exit he clung to my hand hoping the courage he wanted would miraculously seep from me into him. We stood in line and he held onto me as if he was making the choice to play Russian roulette or not. I assured him over and over that he did NOT have to ride, but he would have fun if he did and he would be very proud of himself too. (secretly I was hoping he'd chicken out) And then is was our turn. With false boldness he stepped onto the car. He was very worried that there was nothing over his shoulders. And so was I. He said, "mom, I get to call Daddy and tell him I did this!" He wanted my hand on him tightly, and I wanted it there too. Side bar: The Titan goes 90 miles per hour and reaches over 25 stories. Two things that would make any mom a little quezzy sending their 7 yr. old baby on.

Up the incline. I saw the fear in Isaac and I was coaching him along the way. Trying to point out the positive, "hey look at that you can see the new Cowboy stadium, look how cool, those people look like ants" He was buying it. And then BOOM, down we go. And when you think you should stop dropping, you drop some more. We were whooping and yelling and having a blast. He did it! He enjoyed it! He was so proud of himself, and I was proud of Him!

As we were walking back I realized that not once did I have that fear I normally do when I do something stupid. I wasn't even worried about the heights, the "black out" point, the speed, the what ifs...my only concern was my son. My focus was on his well-being, his joy, his desire to overcome.

Life is definitely full of drop offs, spins, loops and crazy-intense moments. And most of the time we are so focused on our non-contentment, our fears, our worries that we simply forget the one sitting next to us. We are trained to be selfish- although our call is to be selfLESS! When I focused 100% on someone else I actually enjoyed the ride. I think that is how life as a Christian is suppose to be. Get our mind off our self and help our neighbor be a little more comfortable. Think how church would be if we lived like this.

I'm honored that I got to be there for Isaac's first roller coaster ride! I praise God that I got to see his face light up. I hope and pray that I can come along side many in my life to encourage, lift up and help them have a better ride. Come with us!

Abby Mae---3 years.

So I heard a lady talking about blogging the other day and how it is a new way to journal and keep a chronicle of life. I do admit since Facebook has entered my life, I've neglected my blog AND my journal. I'm not sure if these exact posts will be around when my children are grown up, but just in case they do, I'd like to blog a few things about them every once in awhile. JUST to prove to them how much blessings, pain, laughter and tears they brought me throughout the years...

Abby turned three. As some of you know, Abby was the 1/3 of our children that we did not time out perfectly planned. She was a "I think I have the flu" baby! My pregnancy with her was not physically as hard but mentally definitely the hardest. I went into some kind of depression that had me so irrational, looking back now I scared myself. Unfortunately those moments of dark thoughts still creep in every now and again. Do I blame Abby? No, however, she often times is the trigger to my lack of control.

Abby is a lover. She will sit in your lap and pet you explaining how booootiful you are. She hugs and kisses me more than the other two combine. She is also very funny. Ever since she was tiny she tried to get us to laugh. Walking out with buckets on her head, carrots up her nose, soap in hair...something to get a smile. On the flip side Abby is our strong willed child.


When James Dobson talked about Strong-Willed children, and my friends said they have a "strong-willed" child, in my stupidity I thought they weren't disciplining like they should...or "they must be bad parents" etc., God "got me for that one"! Strong will does not necessarily mean disobedient..but definitely has it's moments. When I say Abby is strong will, this is what I mean. If she wants a cookie (most 2-3 years will throw a fit). That's Abby's first stage. When she has not broken me down...she moves on to the next step. Pleading. Yes, my three year old pleads and explains why she should have the cookie. "But mommy, rhea got one lastgo" (means last night). Still when I haven't given in, she goes to step 3. Keep in mind this is over a period of several hours. She will not forget she asked for a cookie. Third step is to take matters into her own hands. She will sneak, ask another member of the family or WAIT until the next day. She has AMAZING tenacity and I'm sorry to say that on many occasions my little angel has won!


I have so many more stories about her passion to get her way, but I'm worn out just thinking about it! All that to say, I think God will use someone like that! As a matter of fact when we were vacationing with my parent, all three grandkids where in the car for 7 hours with 4 adults. Not for a 2 minute time period did Abby be quiet. She laughed, squeeled, cried, whined, sang and whatever else to keep herself stay awake; driving everyone else crazy. My Dad laughed "She's just like you Heidi". Little did he know I cried that night. Poor child is like me! I do have a will and it has to be broken quite often! Praise God He is a good will breaker....and a will taker. My prayer for Abby is that she will use her will for furthering the Kingdom of God at a very early age....He is the one who designed her this way and I know He will use it for the good

Abby is the first to push you but the first to say "I'm sorry" She's always the first to say please and thank you, but if she wants something from your plate she simply helps herself, she's been known to get out of bed and go scratch her older sister for no reason...and later ends up snuggled so close to her you can't see between them....She is our instigator in both peace and war...she is smart (a little too much for her own good) She is our blessing! Thank you Lord for Abby. Happy Birthday.

Few things about my Kids-

So I've kept a journal with writings about my kids. The quirky things they do, funny things they say, silly things they may have done....but I can't find it! So I decided to blog it instead so that I have some kind of documentation one day. Even if no one reads it....

Isaac- Such a sweet little guy. Growing right before my eyes. You are so determined at everything you do. You've started playing soccer and have soaked in as much as you can. You practice everyday and really want to be good. You love making good grades. You really like your teacher and want to please her. You have made straight A's all year and really like school. Lately you've been asking to be baptized. You really want to serve Jesus and have done so well studying and memorizing scripture. You've finished your AWANA book with a breeze and LOVE to go to church! We are so blessed. You are an awesome big brother. I totally trust you watching over your big sisters. You get them breakfast, put their shows on, and talk to them so sweetly. You and Rhea played checkers together tonight for about an hour....you play really well with Rhea (Abby not so much....but not because you don't try!) You are going to be mighty in the Kingdom of God! I love you so much. My prayer is that you desire to serve Jesus with all your heart, your mind and your might!

Rhea- You are so beautiful! Inside and out! I really enjoy talking to you. You pick up EVERYTHING! I cannot sneak anything past you. So smart and want to be involved in all our adult conversations. Tonight you were quoting to me your scripture verse "trust in the Lord with all your heart, don't lean on your own understanding, acknowledge Him and he will make your paths straight." I asked you what that meant and you said "God will help our sins not get curly" One time we were talking about lying (sometimes you have a tendency to lie) When I asked you why you do that, you said "Satan gets in my heart and makes me do it." Well I explained if the Holy Spirit is there He can wipe out Satan...we need to pray for strength to overcome. So we prayed in Jesus' name... You started laughing. Why? You said "It tickles!...Jesus is cleaning my heart...I'm not going to lie anymore!" I love you my precious daughter. My prayer for you now is that you and I will be close friends and able to spur one another on for Jesus...

Abs--Oh Abby! My sweetie. I just want to love you, squeeze you, kiss you all over! You are our strong-willed child. If you want something...you will get it. You will try EVERYTHING in you power, including being cute, begging, crying, manipulating, sneaking, or even waiting until the next day. You wear me out! You wear your brother and sister out too. You will sit next to them and just put your hand right in front of them...scratching them, poking them just sitting right beside them bugging the fool out of them. You are relentless...never stopping. I pray that this desire, this strong will be for our Jesus..you will do EVERYTHING in your power to serve Him. You are so stinking cute though and so smart. Already singing your ABC's quoting scripture right along your sister, and you love to sing. Your favorite thing to eat is chips! You call them "crackers". You call bandaids "boondaids" and need one daily. When you are thirsty you say "I want thirsty" My favorite thing to do with you is snuggle and love on you. You'll stroke my hair, rub my face and say "momma you so pretty" (you probably have an alterior motive :) I love you my sweet abby!

A long long time...

I know it's been a way long time...but seriously I upload photos and notes all the time to facebook,,,I just don't have time to do it twice! SO if you're not on facebook, you're missing out :)

It's still crazy here....one day I'll have time to write and focus on my blog ;)