Crazy days- no time to blog... here's a few reasons why:
Our ford minivan had a terminal disorder. Something about the coolant was getting oil in it or something like...so, without changing the anti-freeze every time we traveled, it could mean major stalling and with three kids that just isn't an option. Plus, the heater doesn't work either. Okay for summer time- not so much in the cool mornings of November...
It has rained more this fall than one can imagine. Our yard is like a swamp, completely saturated. Not so good when you have an old septic system that gets backed up when the ground is wet. During these times, I cannot wash, run the dishwasher or take long showers or we have a lovely smell of ethane gas, and possible a back up.
My life-line (iPhone) was dropped and shattered. It is still functioning but I cannot see a flippin' thing most of the time.
My toaster only toasts one side of the bread.
I dropped a spaghetti squash onto my glass top stove and it shattered. It split in all directions. The burners still work, but the entire stove top gets super hot when one burner is on.
Have you noticed a theme? I'm not writing to receive pity or sympathy. It is not my intention to have people say "oh, so sorry Heidi". I'm simply writing a wonderful word picture the Lord has given me.
The theme? These items in our home-- are broken. In some way or fashion, they are not producing 100% the job they were designed to do. HOWEVER, they are still functioning. They are still getting the job done. For all practical purposes I can drive the van around (side note..I did get a new one :).... I still cook daily on my stove top. It will eventually dry up so I can flush my toilets again, and who needs both sides of the bread toasted anyway?.... They are still getting the job done. Yes, not effeciently, effectively, or perfectly but nevertheless, the job is getting done.
So you ask, how is this a 'word picture' or 'illustration'?
It is a perfect illustration because that is exactly how I feel. I am functioning. I have gotten the job done. I do what I'm called to do. The truth is however, is that I'm broken. I'm struggling on a daily basis to just make it through the day. Like my toaster was designed to toast that bread to the level programmed...I am to fulfill my job as a Mom, wife, teacher, cook, homemaker, church member, children's church leader, business owner, friend, and Christian.... but I'm doing a half-a!@# job. Yes, things get done, but in a brutal, ugly and painful way.
What is it that is broken? I'm not sure? My spirit? My physical being? My psychy? I don't know. All I do know is that I'm broken. What I do know however is that I have a Savior that is a healer to the broken, and friend to the lowly. I rest in the knowledge of His undeserved grace and mercy. I can now identify with moms everywhere who feel like they have to have it all together...WE DON'T! I now can reach out to hurting women who struggle with depression. I now understand why....
That's the season I'm going through right now. this too shall pass..... Thanks for listening! And I covet your prayers... I am sure an ugly person and really don't like what I am. I prefer to work properly or receive my money back!
